Thought of the Day 2010 #7 - Sappy

 

Confession time. I tend to ascribe feelings to inanimate objects. Like these stuffed toys that were found in a ditchbank. They must feel like they were rejected by their owners, right? I mean, how could they be loved for weeks/months/years and then discarded in a ditch like they didn't matter?? Oh, you might say they're just fiberfill and plush fur, but no...they've got feelings, too.

It's not just stuffed animals, either. If I leave a pillow case out on the line at night, I think that it might just feel cold or lonely or ignored or _____. Is that nuts or what?

It's not that I have overwhelming thoughts like this, just that it passes through my brain at one point or another, and often it becomes a motivating factor for me to donate rather than discard. Although, the thought of my possessions getting abused in the 'wrong hands' has crossed my mind. Ok, maybe that is a bit nutz....

Thought of the Day #301 - Haircut

I think my hair might be getting a bit too long. When shaving my underarms, I accidentally cut off some of my hair...from my head, you see? It made it's way to my pits with the flow of water...and blammo...my shaver was covered with a severed pile of inch long hair.

Thought of the Day #160 - Crosswords

I realy don't like crossword puzzles. I've done them, of course, usually
when trapped in an airport with nothing to do beyond guessing citizen
origins or giggling about choosen flight-ready footware.

The crossword puzzle's clues are far too cryptic for me to enjoy. I feel
the crossword's author is often sniveling with glee over his/her attempt
at vaguely clever twists in tangental relationships. That annoys me.
Other times I just don't care enough to want to think that hard.

Thought of the Day #159 - Synchronous Names

It bothers me sooooo much when my "catay" name is taken on websites as a username. I started it. It's mine, mine, mine. Ok, fine, the other "catay"s out there that are actually called "Catay" and mine is strictly a nickname, but it's almost a trademark for me now. I use it everywhere I can. A synchronous online definition of who my online persona wants to be. So, when I heard that Facebook was allowing users to create named links at EXACTLY 10:01pm, I thought...I GOTTA BE THERE! Of course, long about 11PM, I remembered. Luckily, http://www.facebook.com/catay was available. Wooooohoooo!

Thought of the Day #143 - Fiddle Faddle

I have an unnatural love of alliteration. For years I signed off my
emails with "love, luck and laughter" or "love luck and
literature"...or any other "L" word for the final word. I still do it
from time to time, but I no longer feel it's necessary. You see, I
noticed I had that unnatural love and as you know, the first step in
getting help is admitting you have a problem...

Tampons ( For Fat Chicks Only!)

I wish, wish, wish someone had told me this when I was younger. Since I'm officially "old" now, I feel the need to tell you. And you alone. Well, you and a million other fat women.

Not all tampons work for all fat women. There, I said it.

When I was young, I tried tampons off and on in my late teens. I had very little luck with them staying in. If I had a heavy flow ~at all~, the thing would basically pop out before I really wanted it to. No bueno.

So, for years, I figured it was me. No way would I risk tampons. I would instead, wear the heavy pads and hope for no leaks. It was messy and well, I'm here to tell you, it doesn't need to be that way.

Not all tampons work for all fat women. The two varieties I tried were the ones my mom used and the ones that I tried in the bathrooms at school. They were relatively hard little puffs of cotton. I picture them as pellets that would shoot from my vagina. Not a good thing.

So, one day several years ago, I tried tampons again. The clouds opened and a ray of sunshine fell upon my head. It was a miracle. These tampons stayed...and did the whole "dam up the pipes and collect goodness along the way" job...and they were predictable. It was a beautiful thing! Tampons had become my friends. (For those who really need to know, they are Kotex Security brand).

For years, I've relied upon these plugs o' goodness for my sanity. Then, one day recently, while on vacation, I needed some while at a filling station. They didn't have my brand. So, with naive confidence that somehow my vagina had suddenly learned how to use the hard cotton plugs of old, I gave it a good old college try.

Bullets of bloody cotton were shot from my loins. (Artistic license!)

Not all tampons work for all fat women.

Try different brands until you find the one. You will be glad you did.

Confession Time

I like to watch golf on TV on Sunday afternoons. Not just any golf, only PGA, and more specifically Tiger Woods and occasionally Phil Michelson. Ok, really just Tiger, but you know, Phil will do in a pinch.

I used to think that watching golf on TV was as exciting as watching paint dry, as the old cliche goes. Well, you know, I think I actually do appreciate paint drying now. There's so many subtle layers to it that I never realized previously. Ever see a fly land on wet paint? Yeah, it's pretty dang exciting.

OK, back to the confession at hand. So, yeah, golf. I'm not going to say it's as thrilling as a really good suspense movie, but if you actually watch golfers who are really, really good, it's pretty exciting seeing them miss a putt or as in today's game...winning the tournament by making a really good putt.

I'll watch and do other things, come back to the tele and see how the game's going. I don't typically watch the whole thing, but I do feel bad if I miss an exciting play or the last few holes of a tournament. I would have really been remiss if I missed today's tourny winning putt and Tiger's exuberant reaction. He's usually so very composed, don'tchaknow.

There, I'm glad I've gotten that off my chest. It really is embarassing especially since I used to say, "How could anyone stand to watch golf on TV??!? EWWW". So, yeah, now I know.